


Breaking in my heart

by quietwandering



Category: The Smiths
Genre: M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28689654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietwandering/pseuds/quietwandering
Summary: We are born again
Relationships: Johnny Marr/Morrissey
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	Breaking in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I am having a hell of a difficult time writing lately, so I decided to write a small piece to help get me back into the swing of things. I will still be finishing the Christmas prompts, but as I was watching a Johnny Marr concert Jeevey sent me I felt the need to write something a little different in tone to those? So, sorry for all the angst here (and the lack of editing), but I hope you all like it <3
> 
> Set sometime around Years of Refusal/WPINOYB
> 
> Title is [Walk Into the Sea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upGAJlhGWt4) by Johnny Marr

“I suppose it was inevitable, wasn’t it?” 

“Mm...that's an eloquent way of putting it, but yeah. I guess so, huh?” Johnny answered, his wiry frame leaned against the doorway like it belonged there. “You busy?” 

“Perhaps I am,” I replied. My eyes were intently focused on the reflection the two of us made in the mirror. I wondered if the world those two figures lived in was less complicated than ours, if things had gone any differently for them - if the distance between _them_ was just as inevitable. Johnny shifted after a minute, and I shut my eyes as he began to approach me. His footsteps sounded just the same after all these years, though there was the click of boots instead of the jangle of his moccasins. 

Johnny’s arms slipped around my shoulders, a perfect fit, and rested his cheek against my hair, humming something soft. My hands moved before I could think better of it, and I clutched at him with a childish desperation. It wouldn’t keep him here of course, nothing could, but I held on to him all the same. 

“C’mon, come sit with me, yeah?” Johnny whispered, and I nodded, let him lead me over to the couch across the room. He went to shut and lock the door, sealing us in, our fate decided, and I held a hand out for him to grab, knowing it’d make it easier for him to straddle my lap. He paused at the sight of it, his head tilted in consideration. “What if I just wanted to talk?” 

“You don’t,” was my reply, shrugging. Johnny laughed and twisted our fingers together with a limpid smile, his brown eyes full of a coyness that I adored. Impatient to have him near me again, I hurriedly pulled him into my lap and pushed our mouths together, kissing him just as fervidly I had in 1983 in the back of a van at some god awful hour of the morning. 

His hands slipped along my jaw, his fingers digging in greedily as he insistently pushed our tongues together. I wanted so much more. I wanted to bring him back to my hotel room and forget about all the things that kept us apart. I wanted to forget all the painful years we went without seeing one another. I wanted to have opened my door that day in 1987 and kept him close to me. This is all we had now though, this is all we would ever have from here on out. 

Johnny rolled us down onto the couch cushions, his legs tight around my waist, and I slid my tongue across the slight stubble of his chin before making my way down to that beautiful swallow on his neck. I kissed it reverently, so grateful for the chance to live on his skin in such a meaningful way, then reached to pull his shirt away. 

“Not too long till soundcheck. We can’t get too out of sorts,” Johnny whispered, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I kissed along each splotch of ink on him, worshiped them with my mouth, my tongue - I bit hungrily at that spot of skin dedicated to the other love of his life, intermingled myself with her name. 

I pulled on the button of Johnny’s jeans when I had reached his fingertips, dutifully leaving each of them slicked and glistening. Once I had them shoved down enough, Johnny wrapped his hand around himself, squeezing tight before guiding his length towards me. I swallowed him down gratefully and with immense appreciation. 

The taste of him would always be permanently branded onto the back of my tongue, but I never tired of it. It was addictive, the bitter-sweetness of him. I adored the taste of his skin, the taste of his pre-ejaculate, and the pungent taste of sweat and soap. It was another part of all this that never changed, that I loved just as much as the rest of it. 

His other hand reached to brush through my hair, tangling the strands, and I let out a quiet hum of appreciation, well aware he was trying to tell me he was close. I glanced up to him, smiling at the soft look on his face, the warmth there, before dipping down a bit further, pushing him in as far as he could go. His legs trembled beneath me in response, twitching up helplessly towards me, but I kept myself still, let him come against the back of my throat and swallowed it all down with a sigh. 

“Moz - Mozzer, come here. Fuck, c’mere,” Johnny mumbled, and I was gathered up to lie next to him. He breathed unsteadily against my shoulder for a long while until a slight knock at the door caught our attention, letting me know I was due on stage in a short while. “Here, let me -”

I gently pushed his hand away and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, shaking my head. “I won’t find it in me to leave this room if you do,” I said, my voice a bit unsteady. I couldn’t help but picture all those people who would be arriving to hear me sing in a few hours, completely unaware that my mouth tasted of John Maher from Wythenshawe. 

“Tonight?” Johnny asked, insistent. I shifted to look at him for a long while. He might be in another city by then, a thousand miles away from me all over again, but I nodded all the same. “Tonight then.” 


End file.
